At the Crossroads...

I've been thinking of an exit plan for some time now... I somehow doubt I'll be continuing in my current career, as the longer I work in the company, the more hours I 'have to' devote to it. As it is, we leave the house latest by 7.15am every day, and I (not Hubby) leave the office around 8pm almost every day (more often than not, poor Hubby has to wait for me unless I can get a ride home from my brother or my nice, understanding boss). Even though it doesn't feel that tiring when I'm at work, as soon as I get home, the full force hits me and I feel dead tired. And yet there's still help to be given in my mom's kitchen, housework and laundry to do, and the poor dears who have to bear the brunt of my moodiness are my beloved Hubby and kids... it's definitely unhealthy physically, mentally and emotionally!

I long for something that will occupy my time for several hours each day, bring me a decent income to support my family and myself (very important one, that! heheh), give me the satisfaction of doing something tangible and worthwhile, allow me the flexibility to manage my home and family, and not require me to run in the daily rat race we're in now...

Some time ago I came across an opportunity to begin my exit plan... I've discussed it with my mom (who for the time being has been identified to be my main 'banker' and partner), Hubby, as well as several close friends. I also sought advice from a successful entrepreneur and from another close friend whose mom has her own small retail business.

I'm still weighing the pros and cons, but the big pro is of course the possibility of someday managing it on my own fulltime, which will give me the flexibility that I want. The major con is, no surprise, MONEY.... I can manage to get the payment to get the plan started, but what if despite all my planning and research, I lose money? I'd still have rent payments to make, inventory to manage, loans to repay... that is honestly my biggest worry. I also worry about not having an entrepreneurial streak in my entire body, and that I'd be making the biggest mistake in my life.

I enjoy being in the corporate environment, being around the good people that I work with, and of course the benefits and salary that comes with the job. But I feel deep in my heart that I don't have it in me to climb up the corporate ladder - I'm content just to do the job that I have to the best of my ability, without worrying that I have to come up on top of everyone else in order to survive in the company. I don't know for how much longer I can keep up with the long hours demanded out of me. I also know I lack the skills to handle office and corporate politics - I am polite but direct and to the point when giving feedback to the people in our fraternity, which is unfortunately not as open as the rest of the company. As such, my future in the company may not be that secure for me in time to come.

It's been more than a month since that opportunity presented itself. I've yet to make up my mind, and the other party (for reasons that they've mentioned, and also perhaps for their own hidden reasons) seem to be anxious for me to decide in their favor... I'm currently trying to negotiate better terms, but all indications from the other side seem to point to a final offer so a reduced price may not materialize.

I should make up my mind... soon... should I play it safe, and continue working as long as I can until I reach my absolute limit before making my move? Or should I be bold and give it a shot now, while I still have the stability of a steady paycheck and the support of my family to assist me in this endeavour before going into it fulltime later, despite the potential monetary risks?

Ya Allah, give me your guidance, and help this poor soul to decide what's best for herself and her family... Amin...