Taking it easy the 3rd time around?

I feel like we've been taking the preparations for this 3rd little one a little easy...

There are less things to buy, since major items like stroller, baby carrier/car seat, breast pump etc we already have... we just need a new cover for the car seat, dig out the breast pump from the store... errr.... what else? Bought new nursing bras (which I can easily add to since hubby knows where I got them), initial stock of plastic EBM storage bags, breast pads, some baby clothes, and not much else!!!! We're not likely to buy a new cot, since the last we bought ended up being used more as a playpen rather than a baby's sleeping area! I haven't even been spending on little things like baby blankets and hankies and such...

We haven't even thought of names yet!! I've been so busy, so stressed out, and the preggie symptoms have been worse than before that sadly I haven't been enjoying the pregnancy as much as before (hmmm, how much did I enjoy the previous pregnancies anyway? hehehe)... even the Braxton Hicks contractions have started much earlier than before, and are more real than practice!! The doc had to give me meds to reduce the intensity of the contractions, since it's still way too early (at this point we're just into the 33rd week).

This week's gonna be a crazy one, but I'm planning to take the whole of next week off since I have 6 more days to use.... then perhaps I'll take the last day of leave at the end of the month, and just bide my time in November... I plan to use these days to catch up on all the other preparations we need to make, and hopefully get to make 2 simple baby quilts (one for me, one for my best bud) before it's time... Too ambitious ke agaknya? :) Ah, what the heck... I need the break!!

6 years ago today...

... our twosome was blessed with a third person...


Our darling girl is now 6 years old... she's grown into a lovely young woman, pretty, bright, caring, loving, playful, responsible... a good big sister to Hariz and hopefully the new baby on the way as well...

She can be aggravating at times too... but maybe that's because she's too much like me in some (Hubby would argue many) ways... stubborn and hard-headed, but soft at heart (yea yea, like the mama...).

We love you Kakak... may you grow up to be the best person that you can be...

Eventful Ramadhan...

I feel like this has been the shortest Ramadhan in memory... and one memorable for several reasons too...

In 1 week's time, it will be Hari Raya...

Alhamdulillah so far I've managed to fast every single day (and luckily gained 400gm too, so Dr Idris had no reason to berate me hehehe...)

Kakak managed to fast at least for half a day during the weekends and public hols... not that it's too difficult for her to do, considering her erratic eating moods... today she even got up to have Sahur with the rest of the family, eating 2 pieces of chicken nuggets and drinking a bottle of milk... I really feel that helped with her longest fasting period to date (ie 2.30pm baru mengadu lapar & dahaga...) My baby girl is growing up!

Adik managed to cut his chin (technically, the area of soft skin between the chin and the throat) falling in the bathroom last Saturday, and had 3 stitches to close the wound... he had to be held down by 5 people in order for the doc to sew him up hehehe... I was tempted to take his pic then, but didn't want to be a meanie... took pics of him later though, exhausted after all the crying and struggling... he is now officially the record-holder in the family for being the youngest person to have had stitches (from both sides of the family!) Tapi dah berjahit pun, bukannye serik!!

Got a letter that I totally didn't expect, and definitely didn't agree with... am very much toying with the idea of responding to the letter, even though most people would just shrug it off... but I really feel I need to clear my name, cos the contents of the letter were definitely untrue, and it was cc:ed to big bosses...

Finally baked my 1st set of cupcakes after going for that class last year hehehe... had a fun time making them with Kakak... yummy chocolate ganache as the topping kept the cupcakes nice and moist, and gave away a bunch to my colleagues for buka puasa... feedback seems OK hehehe, so I will most likely make a 2nd batch for Hari Raya and bring some for the in-laws...

Completed the 2nd month of operating the business.... Alhamdulillah there's been business due to the Hari Raya rush, albeit on a small scale, but at least it's not just money going out, but coming in too... it's still gonna be a challenge to build it up and get a positive cash flow, but I'm determined to stick with it... I am thankful to Mama for being the main man in this business... one day, I'll be there right by her side, doing this hands-on too, insya-Allah...

Am at my 28th week of pregnancy now... 12 more weeks to go... with any luck, it'll be less than that if past pregnancies are any indication... I'm really looking forward to having this baby, and the time off that comes with it... I may just take that unpaid leave too to spend more time with my family...

Hmmm.... what else? Well, Ramadhan's still for another week, so we'll see how it goes :)

Disillusioned....

After being in the corporate world for almost 9 years, I think this past week was the worst ever that I've had to face...

I've always thought that as 'small fry', I'm not under anyone's radar as long as I did a good job. That's all that I care about, anyhow... I'm not particularly ambitious, unlike some people who target being a manager by a certain age, a senior manager etc etc... and I've always thought that as long as I did my job secara ikhlas and for the good of the company, things would be OK and I'd have done my responsibility as a staff (I'm not even talking about appraisals here OK)...

Boy, was I wrong....

Of all the things to happen to me, to be the subject of a 'surat layang' was the last thing I'd think of... In hindsight, those in the know realize I'm just a scapegoat, the person to be blamed with the least degree of consequences, but to me it's a huge blow... To have your credibility and competence questioned in such a manner is degrading, saddening, demoralizing.... To be made the target, when in actual fact the powers that be are the ones people are unhappy with, is not much consolation. Obviously the person(s) who wrote and sent the letter couldn't care less about the impact to me and my working life, even though their accusations were so off base that no one in their right mind would believe them...

This episode has soured my working life, even though I've been informed that no action will be taken towards anyone... Through all my professional struggles, I've not yet felt disillusioned with the company and the people in it, but now I am... completely disillusioned with management, with my fraternity, with the unknown person(s) around me who wrote that letter... The sad part was, I pushed myself to the limit to meet the impossible deadline set by management for this assignment... The vomiting came back with a vengeance, my head ached all the time, my body was physically drained every single day... My officemates were all concerned to see me in that condition, but I had no choice... I forced myself to contain the physical and mental stress every working day for the last month plus just to meet what we thought were the company's objective, only to be told in the end that the management had a new direction with regards to the project... Top that news with the letter, and you have the perfect recipe for a mental breakdown...

My poor baby's been showing signs of stress as well, with restless movements throughout the day every day... No wonder, with the degree of stress I'm still under... If I could afford to take unpaid leave this very minute, I would... I just have to get through the next 3-4 months, then I'd be at home for 2 blissful months, away from the sickness and craziness that is the working life... maybe after that I'd be able to take that unpaid leave...

Other people may be falling over themselves to join the company, but I know for sure I won't retire here... This was the final straw, and when my time's up, I'll take my leave...

Stressed out and needing to get away...

That's how I've felt these past few weeks.... I felt like screaming my head off under all the stress at work...

I am drained... physically and mentally... and yet I still force myself to go to work each day and push my body and my brain to do the work I have been assigned because I have to... the crazy deadline we've been given made everyone push themselves to the limits, and I'm seeing and feeling the toll on myself.

I finally had to see a doctor cos of this pain in my tummy... turned out to be gastric pains, I suspect induced by stress... couple that with a throbbing headache at the end of every working day, you'd see a very pale and drained person after hours...

How I wish I was due soon!!! November seems so far away... I doubt all the craziness at work is abating anytime soon... new President, new directions that keep changing, new new new... I am seriously considering taking unpaid leave after my maternity leave is up, extend my time with the new baby... I've earned it, I think, after all the stress I put on the baby in utero... nak tunggu menteri announce the change in law relating to maternity leave, I doubt that's happening soon even though she's supposed to have announced the results of the study and the decision by now... as usual, politics is all about making promises that sound great to the people, without actually making a real move to make those promises a reality... but I digress...

Planning a quick getaway with the kids right before Ramadan... I've already told my boss verbally that I'm gonna take a few days off soon, and she understands why... So now Hubby and I have this weekend and the next to finalize our plans... Any good recommendations for a preggy lady and 2 rambunctious kids that's not more than 3-4 hours' drive away from KL?

Cramps!!!

Leg cramps usually start later in the pregnancy for me, but this time around....

ARRRGGHHHH!!!!

22 weeks in, they're already bugging me... a couple of times in the middle of the night and in the morning, but today the pain is still bugging me, long past noon!!!

My left calf was a hard mass of knotted muscles when I woke up this morning, and I'm still limping a little now cos the pain hasn't fully eased off...

Helpppppppp..................

*sigh*

My Day at the Shop

My full-time job is very hectic right now, with a major restructuring happening within an unreasonably short timeline and me in the thick of all things on the back end... I am so very tired, both physically and mentally, but I try to hang in there... Luckily my morning sickness seems to have ebbed for now, but fatigue is ever-present...

So, am I crazy to hold on to my job, and at the same time run my new business? Maybe... but I gotta give it a shot anyway.... when I first planned this endeavour, it was supposed to take off during a relatively low period at work... we can only plan, The Big Guy Upstairs knows better anyhow...

Anyway, even with the crazy workload, I actually look forward to weekends, cos on Saturdays I get to go to the shop and help out... or do my part really, cos my mom's been doing the helping out on weekdays hehehe... So today, went to the shop with my mom and Kakak afte settling matters with the management office, and spent almost the whole day there...

Had some walk-ins inquiring about classes, and even had an order too!!! That really made my day :) In between entertaining inquiries, I learnt how to use a pleater (and did quite a fair number of pleating, I might add!) while my mom got started on cutting fabrics for baju kurungs and dresses... Kakak kept herself busy with her books, paper and scissors as well as the toys on display... Sabar je la mamanye kena kemas balik lepas tu...

Since I last took pics at the shop, there's been some physical changes, but I'll put new pics up next time...

I'm praying and hoping that the business picks up and sustains itself... I really really want this to work, insya-Allah...

All in all, I had a fun and busy day at the shop... here's hoping for more good days to come!