At the Crossroads...

I've been thinking of an exit plan for some time now... I somehow doubt I'll be continuing in my current career, as the longer I work in the company, the more hours I 'have to' devote to it. As it is, we leave the house latest by 7.15am every day, and I (not Hubby) leave the office around 8pm almost every day (more often than not, poor Hubby has to wait for me unless I can get a ride home from my brother or my nice, understanding boss). Even though it doesn't feel that tiring when I'm at work, as soon as I get home, the full force hits me and I feel dead tired. And yet there's still help to be given in my mom's kitchen, housework and laundry to do, and the poor dears who have to bear the brunt of my moodiness are my beloved Hubby and kids... it's definitely unhealthy physically, mentally and emotionally!

I long for something that will occupy my time for several hours each day, bring me a decent income to support my family and myself (very important one, that! heheh), give me the satisfaction of doing something tangible and worthwhile, allow me the flexibility to manage my home and family, and not require me to run in the daily rat race we're in now...

Some time ago I came across an opportunity to begin my exit plan... I've discussed it with my mom (who for the time being has been identified to be my main 'banker' and partner), Hubby, as well as several close friends. I also sought advice from a successful entrepreneur and from another close friend whose mom has her own small retail business.

I'm still weighing the pros and cons, but the big pro is of course the possibility of someday managing it on my own fulltime, which will give me the flexibility that I want. The major con is, no surprise, MONEY.... I can manage to get the payment to get the plan started, but what if despite all my planning and research, I lose money? I'd still have rent payments to make, inventory to manage, loans to repay... that is honestly my biggest worry. I also worry about not having an entrepreneurial streak in my entire body, and that I'd be making the biggest mistake in my life.

I enjoy being in the corporate environment, being around the good people that I work with, and of course the benefits and salary that comes with the job. But I feel deep in my heart that I don't have it in me to climb up the corporate ladder - I'm content just to do the job that I have to the best of my ability, without worrying that I have to come up on top of everyone else in order to survive in the company. I don't know for how much longer I can keep up with the long hours demanded out of me. I also know I lack the skills to handle office and corporate politics - I am polite but direct and to the point when giving feedback to the people in our fraternity, which is unfortunately not as open as the rest of the company. As such, my future in the company may not be that secure for me in time to come.

It's been more than a month since that opportunity presented itself. I've yet to make up my mind, and the other party (for reasons that they've mentioned, and also perhaps for their own hidden reasons) seem to be anxious for me to decide in their favor... I'm currently trying to negotiate better terms, but all indications from the other side seem to point to a final offer so a reduced price may not materialize.

I should make up my mind... soon... should I play it safe, and continue working as long as I can until I reach my absolute limit before making my move? Or should I be bold and give it a shot now, while I still have the stability of a steady paycheck and the support of my family to assist me in this endeavour before going into it fulltime later, despite the potential monetary risks?

Ya Allah, give me your guidance, and help this poor soul to decide what's best for herself and her family... Amin...

Straight out of the movies...

You know how you see something in the movies and think 'That's never gonna happen to us...'?

Well, think of 'One Fine Day', Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney, and the scene where her son sticks something up his nose and George gets all panicky etc... well, Adik stuffed something up his nose, and we didn't even know he did it!!

The first inkling something was off was the smell... Adik ni masam, the yummy kind of masam, but over the past few days I noticed a funny smell coming from his nose... at first we thought it was due to his stuffy nose, but even after his cold cleared the smell was still there.

So last night we took him to the clinic to check it out... our best guess was 'agaknya luka dalam hidung sebab selsema tu dah melarat kot...' Imagine our surprise when the doc said 'I see something white inside his nose'!!!

Using very small forceps, she gently pulled out whatever's in my boy's nose... no wonder he never complained of any pain, cos the 'thing' was actually a small piece of sponge!!! God knows where he got it from, and how long it's been in his nose... bertuah punye budak! He was fine throughout the procedure though, except for watery eyes... I never thought I'd be in this kind of situation, ever! We never had anything like this with Kakak...

That's my boy... that cheeky, naughty, adorable, lovable boy... he definitely cannot be left alone!! Pening kepala mama macam ni dik...

Resolutions... new year notwithstanding

I don't recall ever making New Year's resolutions before... to me resolutions can be made at any time of the year, don't you agree?

I've had several resolutions in my mind for quite some time (since last year, I think), but have never publicly or privately documented them. So now, almost 10 days into 2010, I feel like writing these down in no particular order (simply because I feel putting them into solid words would strengthen them, and in return strengthen my resolve to actually achieve them):-

1 - to not come home so late from work (sadly, I left the office after 8pm on 3 out of 5 days this week... will try harder next week onwards but I know March to June would be a huge challenge for me...). Work-life balance, work-life balance, work-life balance... maybe if I repeat it over and over again I can actually find that point of balance?

2 - to sew more and build up a stock of selected items, and try more new patterns/items to make to enhance my skills...

3 - to figure out what I want to do... do I wanna stay as an employee makan gaji? Do I want to remain an employee, but be in a totally different job function? Do I want to branch out on my own? Do I have what it takes to be on my own, if that is my choice? Sigh.... career direction... does anyone know a good career counselor (not the school counselor ye... never felt they gave any good advice when I was in school)? Who knows, I may not even get a choice in the future... job security is longer a sure thing these days in the company...

4 - to be more patient with my loved ones... somehow I keep my temper better with people at work (even those who damn well deserve a tongue-lashing) than with my dearest and nearest... definitely need to work on that pronto...

5 - to source for the best home-loan package available out there... need to seriously get started on refinancing the house (this is related to item no 3... in case I decide to strike out...)

For now, these are the key items... I hope I'll be able to achieve them, in the timing that He has determined... may I be wise enough to know and understand that when the time comes...

Happy New Year!

The kids stayed up to watch the fireworks show from both 1Utama and The Curve...

The view from my parents' house memang very nice, cos you get to see both malls' displays. Kakak definitely enjoyed the show, but Adik clung tight to me and my dad hehehe... Adik, Adik... chicken jugak anak mama ni...

Happy New Year everyone... may this year be better than the last, and may you be one step closer towards achieving your goals...

Cupcake Decorating Class

Aren't these cute???

I am proud to say that these were all made by yours truly, after almost 7 hours of work :)

Spent the day with several friends at a cupcake-decorating class, and I have to admit, although it was quite tiring (my face was so oily at the end of the day!) for someone without a single artistic bone in her body, it was really kinda relaxing and therapeutic too! Of course it helped that we had a teacher guiding us all the way, and the vanilla and chocolate cuppies were absolutely yum!

This was my tray, surrounded by the other trays at the end of the day...


I liked the hat and booties the best.... the roses were the most difficult for me...

Will definitely try out making the cuppies using the new recipes soon... the decorating? Hmm... we'll see how confident I am hehehe...

Latest bag creations

Over the weekend (before I got really really sick), I tried out a pattern from one of my new books. The end result:-

The size is about 15"x11"x2.5", and is big enough to fit a couple of books and magazines ( I thought it'd be a nice bag for my daughter to use for her 'mengaji' classes). Since a good friend has asked me to make her a document bag, I'm gonna see if she likes this design and make a bigger one for her.

The previous weekend I tried out this pattern from Cath Kidston's new book, Sew! Well, it didn't really require cutting out the pattern cos the book came with all items needed to make the bag on the cover. All I had to do was figure out the instructions hehehe, which wasn't that easy I tell you!

Patience and perseverence has its rewards, and so.....


Looks just like the one in the book, kan? :) It's a nice enough bag, but I think the next time I try it, I'll be making the revised version (the Shopper Tote) instead, cos it uses a lining, is slightly bigger and has a shorter strap.

I am SOOOOO enjoying making bags... just have to find the time to make 'em...

I've already bought the less-than-a-year-old Singer Confidence sewing machine from my mom (which gave her the fantastic excuse to upgrade to the Singer Quantum 9940... damn cool machine I say! but too advanced for me heheh), so am now the proud owner of a real, working sewing machine ya'all!!

Let the sewing continue!!!

Sick & tired...

You name it, I've got it.... fever? Check! Cough? Check! Phlegm? Check! Very sore throat? Check that too... Runny nose/sneezing? Yep... Tight chest & difficulty breathing... All in....

At the moment I'm lying on the couch propped up by a huge cushion... the chest tightness is slightly better after 2 puffs of Ventolin, and the runny nose is manageable while I'm on my back... after almost a week away from home, we are now back at our own place to do some laundry and general house-cleaning... but I just don't have the energy to do anything other than lie down for now... my poor Hubby's had to do some funky arrangements with the extension cords due to a blown fuse (or is it several too-sensitive fuses?) that's disrupting the power supply to the washing machine...

I willed myself to stay at work on Friday, with the hope that the weekend will give me enough rest to be OK by Monday... at the moment I'm not even sure I'll be well enough to go to work tomorrow though, but I have to.....

Do you think it's possible to negotiate with your own body? If so, then I'd like to propose the following arrangement, body... Monday, get me well enough so I can go and finish off the urgent paperwork... Tuesday, I can afford to be sick and rest at home, but I have to be better by Wednesday... agaknya boleh tak?

*sigh*... what a hectic working life... I can't even take time off when I'm sick... I am soooooo looking forward to finishing off my leave at the end of this month...

OK, enough whining....

p/s. Adik is doing a lot better... now just waiting for the scabs to heal and drop off before he can go to school again... the cheeky kid's been picking at the scabs and then complaining 'Mama, Adik thakit....' otherwise, he's his usual self.... get well soon OK...