Good riddance to SPAM!!!

What is it about this blog that attracts spam comments?!?!?!?

I've got the word verification thingie in place, supposedly to minimize spamming, and yet lately I'm noticing that almost every post I put up will have at least 1 spam comment! Since I rarely get comments (heheh, sad huh?), I had to do some digging around before I could find where/how to remove those crappy things...

Dah le they were not in English or even Malay... practically always in Chinese/Japanese-like characters (sorry, I can't distinguish between them, but you know what I mean...), and if you run your cursor above the contents, they'll usually turn out to be URLs to dodgy websites that hint of porn... sickening if you think about it.

So now I've had to turn on the comment moderator thing, which is honestly leceh for me cos I have limited access to edit this blog during weekdays... but I guess that's my only option for now...

13 Weeks Down... 27 More to Go!

Technically speaking I'm about to enter the 2nd trimester already... the morning sickness has toned down somewhat, but it still rears its ugly head almost every day. This is the first pregnancy I've had that has me retching so frequently and strongly that my saliva is tinged with blood almost every time. Scary wooo I tell you, when you see the bright red in the saliva! My gynae (Dr Idris) says it's normal though, considering I throw up so much... I should be thankful I'm not dehydrated right?

Constipation is another painful problem... since I found out I was pregnant, I had to stop taking my regular Nona Roguy jamu... so I knew I'd be facing my old adversary, constipation, very soon. True enough, despite eating lots of fruit (and some veggies) - since fruit is digested faster, sometimes that's the only thing that stays in my tummy pun! - each trip to the loo hurt like crazy and also tinged with blood (yeah, gross, I know.... sorry....) I envy those who pass motion daily and easily... it's an ordeal for me every time...

Makan-wise, my appetite is improving, but keeping the food down is another matter altogether la. I'm thinking about my upcoming date with Hubby next week - wonder if I can sit down in Chili's and eat my favorite meal??? Right now I'm feeling kinda peckish... lost my dinner tonight and refilled with fruit, tapi lapar lagi... huwaaaa.... maybe I should just go to sleep and dream about food....

27 more weeks to go... let's hope these symptoms improve soon...

Morning Sickness... Sigh...

Morning sickness... some people are blessed with(out) it... some poor souls have a hard time of it... those who go through it, some are lucky to get it for a short time, some even more challenged folks go through it for the whole 9 months!

Me? I am just coming out of the worst phase so far... I had a really bad month of it, but alhamdulillah this past 5 days have been sooooo much better than before. I remember going through both of my previous pregnancies having really bad morning (afternoon, and night!) sickness during the 1st trimester, and was really hoping this time around would be different. No such luck though! Went to (and through) work like a zombie, throwing up food and stomach juice throughout the day, and looked almost as pale as a dead person! I had plenty of plastic bags stashed in Hubby's car for sure! Didn't even have the mood to put a touch of color on my lips (cos it'll all be wiped out after a session of vomiting!).

Don't get me wrong... this was a planned pregnancy (albeit slightly off in terms of proposed timing), but I was really not looking forward to the sickness part. Luckily I seem to have gone through the worst of the phase without being hospitalized for dehydration (which has happened before), and I managed to get through the most critical part of the working year in this condition, so things are definitely looking up! 9 weeks down, 31 more to go!

Heck, I'm finally posting another entry after more than 1 month hehehe... that's an indication of improved health, dontcha think? :)

Now... I wonder when I'll be OK enough (or be in an able position) to start sewing again? My poor sewing machine's been in storage for ages now, with all my works-in-progress still in progress too!!!

At the Crossroads...

I've been thinking of an exit plan for some time now... I somehow doubt I'll be continuing in my current career, as the longer I work in the company, the more hours I 'have to' devote to it. As it is, we leave the house latest by 7.15am every day, and I (not Hubby) leave the office around 8pm almost every day (more often than not, poor Hubby has to wait for me unless I can get a ride home from my brother or my nice, understanding boss). Even though it doesn't feel that tiring when I'm at work, as soon as I get home, the full force hits me and I feel dead tired. And yet there's still help to be given in my mom's kitchen, housework and laundry to do, and the poor dears who have to bear the brunt of my moodiness are my beloved Hubby and kids... it's definitely unhealthy physically, mentally and emotionally!

I long for something that will occupy my time for several hours each day, bring me a decent income to support my family and myself (very important one, that! heheh), give me the satisfaction of doing something tangible and worthwhile, allow me the flexibility to manage my home and family, and not require me to run in the daily rat race we're in now...

Some time ago I came across an opportunity to begin my exit plan... I've discussed it with my mom (who for the time being has been identified to be my main 'banker' and partner), Hubby, as well as several close friends. I also sought advice from a successful entrepreneur and from another close friend whose mom has her own small retail business.

I'm still weighing the pros and cons, but the big pro is of course the possibility of someday managing it on my own fulltime, which will give me the flexibility that I want. The major con is, no surprise, MONEY.... I can manage to get the payment to get the plan started, but what if despite all my planning and research, I lose money? I'd still have rent payments to make, inventory to manage, loans to repay... that is honestly my biggest worry. I also worry about not having an entrepreneurial streak in my entire body, and that I'd be making the biggest mistake in my life.

I enjoy being in the corporate environment, being around the good people that I work with, and of course the benefits and salary that comes with the job. But I feel deep in my heart that I don't have it in me to climb up the corporate ladder - I'm content just to do the job that I have to the best of my ability, without worrying that I have to come up on top of everyone else in order to survive in the company. I don't know for how much longer I can keep up with the long hours demanded out of me. I also know I lack the skills to handle office and corporate politics - I am polite but direct and to the point when giving feedback to the people in our fraternity, which is unfortunately not as open as the rest of the company. As such, my future in the company may not be that secure for me in time to come.

It's been more than a month since that opportunity presented itself. I've yet to make up my mind, and the other party (for reasons that they've mentioned, and also perhaps for their own hidden reasons) seem to be anxious for me to decide in their favor... I'm currently trying to negotiate better terms, but all indications from the other side seem to point to a final offer so a reduced price may not materialize.

I should make up my mind... soon... should I play it safe, and continue working as long as I can until I reach my absolute limit before making my move? Or should I be bold and give it a shot now, while I still have the stability of a steady paycheck and the support of my family to assist me in this endeavour before going into it fulltime later, despite the potential monetary risks?

Ya Allah, give me your guidance, and help this poor soul to decide what's best for herself and her family... Amin...

Straight out of the movies...

You know how you see something in the movies and think 'That's never gonna happen to us...'?

Well, think of 'One Fine Day', Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney, and the scene where her son sticks something up his nose and George gets all panicky etc... well, Adik stuffed something up his nose, and we didn't even know he did it!!

The first inkling something was off was the smell... Adik ni masam, the yummy kind of masam, but over the past few days I noticed a funny smell coming from his nose... at first we thought it was due to his stuffy nose, but even after his cold cleared the smell was still there.

So last night we took him to the clinic to check it out... our best guess was 'agaknya luka dalam hidung sebab selsema tu dah melarat kot...' Imagine our surprise when the doc said 'I see something white inside his nose'!!!

Using very small forceps, she gently pulled out whatever's in my boy's nose... no wonder he never complained of any pain, cos the 'thing' was actually a small piece of sponge!!! God knows where he got it from, and how long it's been in his nose... bertuah punye budak! He was fine throughout the procedure though, except for watery eyes... I never thought I'd be in this kind of situation, ever! We never had anything like this with Kakak...

That's my boy... that cheeky, naughty, adorable, lovable boy... he definitely cannot be left alone!! Pening kepala mama macam ni dik...

Resolutions... new year notwithstanding

I don't recall ever making New Year's resolutions before... to me resolutions can be made at any time of the year, don't you agree?

I've had several resolutions in my mind for quite some time (since last year, I think), but have never publicly or privately documented them. So now, almost 10 days into 2010, I feel like writing these down in no particular order (simply because I feel putting them into solid words would strengthen them, and in return strengthen my resolve to actually achieve them):-

1 - to not come home so late from work (sadly, I left the office after 8pm on 3 out of 5 days this week... will try harder next week onwards but I know March to June would be a huge challenge for me...). Work-life balance, work-life balance, work-life balance... maybe if I repeat it over and over again I can actually find that point of balance?

2 - to sew more and build up a stock of selected items, and try more new patterns/items to make to enhance my skills...

3 - to figure out what I want to do... do I wanna stay as an employee makan gaji? Do I want to remain an employee, but be in a totally different job function? Do I want to branch out on my own? Do I have what it takes to be on my own, if that is my choice? Sigh.... career direction... does anyone know a good career counselor (not the school counselor ye... never felt they gave any good advice when I was in school)? Who knows, I may not even get a choice in the future... job security is longer a sure thing these days in the company...

4 - to be more patient with my loved ones... somehow I keep my temper better with people at work (even those who damn well deserve a tongue-lashing) than with my dearest and nearest... definitely need to work on that pronto...

5 - to source for the best home-loan package available out there... need to seriously get started on refinancing the house (this is related to item no 3... in case I decide to strike out...)

For now, these are the key items... I hope I'll be able to achieve them, in the timing that He has determined... may I be wise enough to know and understand that when the time comes...

Happy New Year!

The kids stayed up to watch the fireworks show from both 1Utama and The Curve...

The view from my parents' house memang very nice, cos you get to see both malls' displays. Kakak definitely enjoyed the show, but Adik clung tight to me and my dad hehehe... Adik, Adik... chicken jugak anak mama ni...

Happy New Year everyone... may this year be better than the last, and may you be one step closer towards achieving your goals...